I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your work are wonderful I know that full well.Psalm 139:14
I was working on a scrapbooking page recently, it was for April 2019. I wanted to document the story with the photos and couldn’t remember the details. As I went through my journal entries from last April in search of the story, I discovered a different one. The pictures were of happy times, they were joyful photos of playing with bubbles outside on the deck. I was expecting to find a story of joy and wonder, but instead I discovered a story of struggle and pain. At first I didn’t remember the details, but as I kept reading ,the memories came flooding back. It was a time where I greatly underestimated my worth and struggled to find my place in the world. Finding less satisfaction at home as a Mother and Wife, I felt I lacked purpose. Although the pictures I was seeking to document showed promise and purpose, that was not the story in my heart.
Fast forward to now, and we are currently in a pandemic and stuck at home. It seems it could be a time where that narrative continues, the pain and struggle, however, this April I have felt very different. Despite the pandemic and the world coming to a halt, I have felt immense purpose in my roles as a Mother and Wife. It’s amazing how life can change in a year. My life hasn’t actually changed that much, I am in the same roles I once was, but my mind and heart have changed.
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.Proverbs 4:23
Last April, I wrote that I had let my heart become a punching bag. The Bible says we are to guard our hearts above all else. In my journal I admitted that I wasn’t doing a good job of that. The thing is, I don’t look back and feel sorry for myself. I look back and think, wow how I’ve grown! I have changed my perspectives, and made choices to set my priorities straight. I found a way to self-care while caring for others, instead of wearing myself thin trying to earn affection or acceptance. Above all else, I learned to guard my heart and to seek God’s kingdom, and His word first! I have come along way since then and the key to that progress is not the external changes, but the internal ones.
When I woke up this past Sunday morning, the Lord placed on my heart that I am “fearfully and wonderfully made”. This was the first time I heard that and actually believed it. So yes, I’m in a very different place than a year ago. Despite my past sufferings documented in my journal, the pictures I scrapbooked showed me that I never gave up trying. Those pictures emulated joy and effort to create a happy home, even if there was inner turmoil. The story was not one of despair, but of hope. I overcame and I contribute that to the love from my Heavenly Father and the inner workings of His Holy Spirit within me.
Right now, even though we are all at home, many people have different stories, different narratives. It could be a very depressing time for some, it may cause anxiety for others, or be a time of renewed hope. Whatever your story, we are in this together! We are ALL fearfully and wonderfully made. God has a plan for each and every one of us, he has helped me find my purpose right where I am. He can help you find yours too!
For now, I continue to seek Him. To serve my family to my best ability, and for self-care I create! I work on my memory books documenting life, or create Cricut projects to bless our home and others. With God by my side, an amazing husband, and my beautiful children, my wild little loves who depend on me and shower me with their unconditional love each day, I press on!
Praying you find hope to press on too! I’d love to connect with you to hear your story and what you are doing with your time at home right now.
We are Created to Create!